


Of A Certain Age

by LaceLilies



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 15:32:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaceLilies/pseuds/LaceLilies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Bond is quickly approaching the mandatory retirement age for Double O agents- it's no small feat, but he's unsure of what he'll do once he's forced to move on from his dangerous life of espionage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of A Certain Age

i.

With less than two months until his birthday, James Bond was suddenly confused as to what he would do for the rest of his life. He had never expected to even be alive this long after becoming a Double O, and was certain that most of his colleagues had expected him to drop dead within his first year or two of service. It was funny that he had managed to outlive most of them- well, in a morbid sort of way.

But, James indeed had managed to survive, and still in decent physical condition at that. The only thing stopping him now from finding out just how long he could last, living the dangerous life of a field agent, was MI6's mandatory retirement policy for any Double O who made it to forty-five.

Turning forty-five had always seemed so far away to Bond; how the hell did it sneak up on him like this?

James was contemplating his pending retirement right after taking a shower. He’d just come home from another mission, and though he hadn't been bloodied up quite enough to warrant a trip to Medical, Mallory insisted that he take a few days off to recover. The idea of having nothing to do for that long was awful enough; James couldn't imagine permanently being taken off field work.

 

ii.

Despite being forced into taking time off, James found his way back to Headquarters the next morning. He’d spent most of it in the shooting range, went to bother Moneypenny, and after going to lunch with 006, he wandered into Q division.

Q division was one of Bond’s favorite places in the entire building, right next to the shooting range. He’d gotten into the habit of hanging around the new Quartermaster whenever he got really bored- mostly because the younger man was fun to annoy, but he was also interesting enough to observe when working and a decent conversational partner.

James leaned up against a desk near Q’s workstation, and watched as the brunet typed what seemed like nonsense into his computer at a rate Bond was certain was impossible. Everything was getting so complex now; it made James feel so old.

“We could put you in a museum,” Q said, not looking up from his computer, “When we retire you. Or maybe MI6 keeps old agents locked up in a freezer somewhere, just in case they’re needed later.” James had been thinking aloud, and Q was very busy and disliked mopey Double Os showing up in his department to complain. 

James scowled in Q’s general direction until Q turned around to face him. 

“Yes, you’re nearly retirement age, 007," he said,"But, that doesn't mean MI6 is planning to put you down like an old dog- though I’m sure M has entertained the idea, and I wouldn't be entirely opposed.” 

James looked even more ticked off and Q rolled his eyes in return.

“Get a desk job, Bond, or maybe consider actually enjoying an early retirement. But for now, you know where the door is, so you can show yourself out of my entire branch. Please and thank you. I’m sure Moneypenny wouldn't mind having to deal with you until you get over this midlife crisis you're having.” Q felt maybe just a little bad for him. 007 obviously loved his job, even if he insisted on being difficult, constantly refused to follow orders, destroyed the precious equipment that Q branch slaved over, and had the completely unprofessional habit of coming on to anyone in a skirt and high heels.

“Sorry to tell you," James started, "but she’s how I wound up here. She’s not much fun when she’s busy with paperwork. She even threatened to 'lose' some files and have me re-write all of my paperwork from the past year's worth of assignments.” 

Q grinned at that. Ms. Moneypenny was one of the few people in MI6 that would not put up with Bond’s antics. He wouldn't put it past her to actually go through with that threat.

If Q let 007 stay around his branch for a bit longer after that, it was just to save him from Eve’s wrath.

 

iii.

The time had gone by much more quickly than James had expected. He’d only had two short missions to keep him busy. They’d gone smoothly enough that he suspected that he’d purposely been given easier assignments than he usually had.

On his last day, James reported to Mallory after he’d finished cleaning out his small office. Some idiots decided to throw him a retirement slash birthday party, and Mallory was kind enough to warn him about it. James had had every intention of skipping out on it, but he was nearly dragged there by an overly friendly Medical branch tech who he’d had the misfortune of passing in the hallway. 

It wasn't much of a party at all- more of an excuse to waste time instead of working. Moneypenny brought in a cake that she bragged was homemade, and considering how ugly it looked, James wondered how anyone might assume differently. It was a nice gesture, though, and James made a point of kissing her for it.

iv.

Later that day, when James was sporting a black eye that Moneypenny had given him, he went off to find Q. He hadn't been at the party, so James assumed that he was holed up in Q branch, working on something more fun. 

He searched around for Q, but he wasn't anywhere to be found. Q was more of the hands-on type, spending his time working on tech or testing things himself, and hardly ever sat around in his personal office, so James hadn't bothered with it. After some more searching and a bit of friendly interrogation, one of the younger techs told him that Q had gone home early. James huffed and decided that he might as well leave, until the tech managed to blurt out that Q had left something in his office for the agent. 

A present of some sort? Well, that sounded interesting…unless of course, it was some stupid gag gift, like the adult diapers Alec had given him. James let himself into Q’s unlocked office and found a small box on the desk.

Attached to the box was a note with “007” scrawled on it. He didn't read it, but stuffed it into a pocket for later. When he opened the box, there was a second note inside, along with a nice pen. 

Though the handwriting was just barely legible, he managed to decipher it after a bit: “Three clicks arms the four-second fuse. Another three disarms it. Made improvements from a previous design I found. Nonetheless, try not to accidentally blow off your arm, Bond.” James chuckled and slipped the box into his coat pocket. He left Q branch quietly, since he’d left a few of the techs a bit shaken, and soon enough he was on his way home.

When he was just a few blocks away from his apartment building, his personal phone went off. It was a rare enough occurrence that James noticed it right away. He checked the phone, a little confused that he’d gotten a text message from a number he didn't recognize. He opened it, read it, and immediately checked his pocket for the note that had been attached to the gift that Q had left him.

“If you get that desk job, you are welcome to continue to harass me while I work. If not…how about dinner at my place? Coordinates already provided to you.  
-Q”

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in a file on my computer for awhile, so I decided it was time to post. Not-beta'd, and so I may have missed a few mistakes. But, thanks for reading!


End file.
